Last Week of Term

Morning!

Time if flying and things seem so busy that I am finding (making?) less and less time to update this thing. Although the age old adage of never having enough time is bunkum, there is always time if we choose to make it, the spare time that I have is almost exclusively dedicated to the children.

I have been here for 6 months now and the realisation is slowly beginning to dawn on me that soon (in just over 3 months) my time will be at and end. This is a frightening thought as saying goodbye to everyone here, especially the children will be heart-wrenching. The recent days have been filled with projects (more of that in a mo) and as we are in the final week of term, typing exam papers and consolidating results for the teachers. The exams started yesterday and run through to Thursday lunchtime when the school breaks for the August holiday and the kids will disappear for 3 weeks. When they come back I will in the process of climbing a mountain and so of the 3 months left one is written off right there.

Concerning the projects :
. House building : Do you remember a while back I visited the home of a boy called James Macharia? This conditions in which he was living were abject and we decided back then to do something about it. Well, I am delighted to say something has been done. With the generous support of friends and my Mum, last week we completed a new building for him and his brother Wilson to live in.
. Rabbit colony: Our rabbit colony appears to be increasing almost exponentially. On Friday another gave birth taking our population to 28. As they are beginning to look a little cramped I have ordered an extension. If it continues at this rate, I may have to consider moving the boys out of the dormitory and swapping them with the rabbits!
. Inter-house quiz: Friday nights first inter-house quiz was won by Buffalo (36 points) who narrowly beat Elephant in to second place on 35 points. Debate raged after on the content of the quiz which was deemed by many to have been too heavily skewed towards science (they all receive the same lessons!!), and so next term we are planning an even larger, broader one.
. Vegetable growing: We have been in negotiations with the lady next door (who has a very large unused garden) to see if we could use her land to grow veggies for the school in exchange for some of the produce we grow. Agreement was reached at the end of last week and during the August holiday we will begin tilling and planting. We are also looking in to the possibility of erecting a greenhouse on part of the land.
. Sign posts: I have commissioned 2 sign posts for the school. The first at the entrance to direct people when they arrive (offices, kitchens, staff room etc), the second to go nearer the school field to point around the world (United Kingdom XXXXkm, USA XXXXkm etc).
. Landscaping: I spent much of last week with the fundi (handymen), designing the changes we would like to make to the school field. On one side we have a wonderful large tree which is slightly raised on a natural mound which overlooks the school field. Our idea is to use this natural mound, landscape it with the addition of some bench seating so we can have an area where people can sit and read, but also sit and watch the games on the field (much easier to explain in pictures).
. Ghost story evening: I am loving this. I have started a weekly evening of ghost / spooky stories. Not sure this is completely responsible of me (what would social services say?), but surely one of the pleasures of middle age is to corrupt the youth?! (I have copies one of them at the end of this for you reading pleasure).

As you can see we have been BUSY. All this coupled with my intensive Kilimanjaro preparation training : a strict regime of lunges and the consumption of copious cups of nettle-tea which a local has sworn to me will combat any ailment, natural or indeed supernatural (it’s like drinking a pond), and time is just zipping by.

Should you wish to sponsor us in this mad undertaking, just go to the following link: http://www.justgiving.com/Matthew-Smith-Kili-Climb, or click on the JustGiving gadget on this page. It is all going to the school I can ensure you.

Thanks for your ongoing support.

PS: I have signed up for motorbike lessons next term .. don’t tell my Mum.

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Hairy Toe!
Once there was an old woman who went out in the woods to dig up some roots to cook for dinner. She spotted something funny sticking out of the leaves and dug around until she uncovered a great big hairy toe. There was some good meat on that toe which would make a real tasty dinner, so the old woman put it in her basket and took it home.
When she got back to her cottage, the old woman boiled up a kettle-full of hairy toe soup, which she ate for dinner that night. It was the best meal she'd had in weeks! The old woman went to bed that night with a full stomach and a big smile.
Along about midnight, a cold wind started blowing in the tops of the trees around the old woman's house. A large black cloud crept over the moon and from the woods a hollow voice rumbled: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!" Inside the house, the old woman stirred uneasily in her bed and nervously pulled the covers up over her ears.
From the woods there came a stomp-stomp-stomping noise as the wind whistled and jerked at the treetops. In the clearing at the edge of the forest, a hollow voice said: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!" Inside the house, the old woman shuddered and turned over in her sleep.
A stomp, stomp, stomping sound came from the garden path outside the cottage. The night creatures shivered in their burrows as a hollow voice howled: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!" Inside the house, the old woman snapped awake. Her whole body shook with fright as she listened to the angry howling in her garden. Jumping out of bed, she ran to the door and barred it. Once the cottage was secure, she lay back down to sleep.
Suddenly, the front door of the cottage burst open with a bang, snapping the bar in two and sending it flying into the corners of the room. There came the stomp, stomp, stomping noise of giant feet walking up the stairs. Peeping out from under the covers, the old woman saw a massive figure filling her doorway. It said: "Hairy toe! Hairy toe! I want my hairy toe!"
The old woman sat bolt upright in terror and shouted: "I ATE your hairy toe!"
"Yes, you did," the giant figure said very gently as it advanced into the room.
No one living in the region ever saw the old woman again. The only clue to her disappearance was a giant footprint a neighbour found pressed deep into the loose soil of the meadow beside the house. The footprint was missing the left big toe.

Dowry Ceremony

Last weekend we were in Nairobi for a dowry ceremony. The long and the short of it is that if bloke wishes to marry bird and bird agrees marry bloke, blokes family have to come to an agreement with birds family to compensate them for the money they have invested in her thus far. If agreement is reached, party ensues, if agreement is not reached, then it’s good night Vienna.

I was a guest of James and James is the cousin of the bloke, so I was part of the bloke’s entourage. . As the whole family is involved and the whole family is expected to stump up to get the dowry together, we had all been instructed to meet up at a petrol station in Kiambu on the outskirts of Narirobi just before lunchtime. I told myself this must be to agree on our negotiation strategy over numerous cups of tea. As always my imagination ran away me and I beguiled the mutatu ride to Kiambu with visions of an enormous Mario Puzo mafiosi style family meet. I was eagerly expecting to meet people called Teflon, Two Times and So n’ So “the boss” So n’ So with information on who shot Kennedy, and crooked senators from Idaho and Arizona who would grease the wheels of my Foreign Office job application in exchange for the return of the compromising photos I had of
them. I didn’t.

It seemed that the tactics were on a need to know basis also, and I didn’t need to know , but family member after family member slipped off to the back of the cafe to hand over cash to a formidable woman who I assumed must be “book-keeper”. Once all the cash had been stashed in the book-keepers handbag (god have mercy on the mugger who tried to snatch her bag!) we moved to the cars.

The bride’s family had very thoughtfully provided a list of things that we had to bring with us as the “entrance fee”. This included crates 8 of fizzy pop. I was told as we loaded the crates that it is not uncommon for the bride’s family to go so far as to refuse the groom’s family entry and scratch the whole fixture should the shopping list not be brought in its entirety.

With the crates loaded we moved off in convoy and drove the 15 minutes or so to the meet. I suggested that we take a slightly convoluted route and make a couple of U-Turns to ensure we weren’t being tailed or hadn’t been compromised. No one else thought this necessary and some thought it just a waste of petrol, so I shut up and I decided to drop the gangster euphemisms.

We arrived to an empty garden laid out with chairs and 2 tables laden with food. Seeing as I was the only one who thought it strange that no-one else was around, I kept my mouth shut and followed everyone else.

But still none of the bride’s family appeared. Wondering what was going on I turned to my neighbour and inquired. One of James' cousins told me that until a deal had been brokered, no intercourse was allowed between the 2 families .. so until then the entire bride’s family must remained inside while we sat outside chit-chatting and wolfing down the food that had been provided.

Once we had eaten our fill, 5 from our side (including the book-keeper) got up and made there way to the house to begin negotiations with an equal number from the bride’s side. This is invariably the way apparently; it can be of any number as long as they are equal. We, well I, sat in tense anticipation. The others , seasoned veterans, were doing their best t hide it.

I almost wish I could say that discussions went on through the night and after several desperate acts of brinksmanship on both sides, the talks broke down, all the guests were ejected, and the bride and groom eloped to Gretna. But I can't and to the relief of all concerned, agreement was reached in record time. (emissaries must have been dispatched in advance to prepare the ground).

No sooner had the negotiators announced the good news, the bride’s family appeared from their hiding places and joined the throng. General merry making ensued: introductions to each and everyone (I was introduced as Matthew from the British branch of the family), singing, dancing and consumption of the 8 crates of fizzy pop. Then as night fell we all went on our way.

James and I spent the night at his Aunt’s place. A formidable women and printing magnate she spent much of the evening grilling me on where she could pick up the best second hand printing machines. I told here Heidelberg and she seemed more than satisfied with my answer.

On Sunday we went to buy gear for climbing Kilimanjaro. With 2 friends from London who are evidently as mentally unbalanced as I am (yes that’s you Ali & Ivor), we are embarking upon this mass suicide on the 25th August. Apparently it takes 6 days up (the last 1-2 days with the likelihood of excruciating altitude sickness) and 2 days down (there must be a helter-skelter). So armed with new boots, gloves and one of those water sack things with a pipe that I cannot figure out for the life of me, all of this week I have been walking miles. Indeed today, together with Mr. Jackson who I have engaged as my guide for the coming weeks in exchange for lunch and as much tea as he can drink (a lot as it turns out), we have walked by my estimate 15km. I am sitting writing this with my feet in a bucket of cool water.

But what of the school?? Well:
. Leopard won in the inter-house football competition this week.
. Tomorrow we have a dance troop called DICE coming from Nairobi to work with our music club. They kids are VERY excited (they get excited very easily).
. We have started landscaping part of the school field to have an area for reading and sitting to watch the games (I spent much of the last 2 days sketching designs)
. Plans to erect a green house are well underway also so we can grow tomatoes and peppers

And next week end of term exams begin.

A busy 10+ days

Sorry it has been well over a week since you last heard a peep out of me. But in that time things have been SO busy and so much as been happening. To summarise, over the past 10+ days we have had 10 visitors with us and all kinds of things have been going on.

If you recall, Cedric came down from Paris and together with him we held the first inter-house sports day. We had sack races, 3 legged races, welly wanging, egg and spoon races plus a team event involving 6 people laying numbers from 1 to 6 on the ground in order, then a 7th person walking across them…this continued all across the school field with the winner being the first house to make it to the other side (it’s much harder to explain in words). Anyway, at the end of the afternoon we totted up the scores to find Buffalo had won and so they received a lovely trophy with ribbons and all the trimmings.

On another evening, Cedric organised a science experiment evening making rockets out of plastic camera film cases. The children built and decorated their rockets in teams and then with a mixture of vinegar and bicarb inside, they put the lids back on quickly and watched them shoot up to the roof of the assembly hall (again it’s much harder to explain in words). They loved it as it was messy and noisy.
The highlight for me though was the goat roast last Thursday evening. Apologies in advance to any vegetarians amongst you for the graphic content of what follows, but a few days earlier Cedric and I acquired a goat with the express intent of barbecuing it and eating it outside with the children, teachers and visitors. And so at 4pm on Thursday afternoon, the bell tolled and the blindfolded goat was led to the back of the school by 3 of the teachers. With no final requests forthcoming, it had its legs tied together, was laid on a bed of banana leaves and had its throat slit. Mr Macharia, who was holding the goat’s mouth and head had the bottom of the trousers covered with blood as it sprayed out of the goats now open throat. Within a minute however it was dead and decapitated. It was an amazing scene .. as the sterner stomached visitors and I looked on in fascinated horror and the unmistakeable smell of goat enveloped the area, the teachers and children preceded to drain it, skin it and gut it with industrial efficiency. The meat and bones were dispatched to the BBQ whilst the stomach and intestines were emptied and cleaned of their less palatable content. Once cleaned they we refilled with a mixture of fat and blood to make sausages. For the next couple of hours whilst the children cleaned and did their washing, we sat round the BBQ with the teachers preparing dinner : the ribs, meat, liver, kidneys and sausages roasting while the goats head boiled in a pan to make soup.

At 20h00 everyone came out for dinner and together we feasted with regular intermissions for songs. Of all the things that we have done here and that I have experienced, it is definitely one that will stand out for me.
At the beginning of this post I said that we had 10 visitors including Cedric. So what of the other visitors? Well, the other 9 visitors (Al, Robin, Dan, Jemima, Ben, Ashley, Dan, Clemmie and Sam) were all from the same church (St. Ebbes) in Oxford, and their mission here was two-fold. Firstly do you remember Jane whose house was collapsing? …well in the mornings, together with Cedric and local masons they were building her a new home. So everyday they all walked from the school, down one side of the valley and up the other side to Jane’s home and by the end of the week the old place had been demolished and a new one erected in its place. It was phenomenal the pace at which they all worked; so much so that by Saturday it was ready to be blessed by the local vicar with only the more cosmetic aspects remaining to be completed. Words cannot describe how happy Jane is.

In the afternoons, after washing off the morning’s sweat and grime, Al, Robin, Dan, Jemima, Ben, Ashley, Dan, Clemmie and Sam ran bible study classes with the children. Each session began with a short enacted scene from the bible; the message of which was the subject of the breakout sessions with the children after. The children loved it (as did the boys of Kiambugi High School who we went to see on Sunday). They also came armed with a catalogue of songs (most with accompanying movements) which is a prerequisite for anyone coming down here. They were great and we were all sad to see them leave on Monday.

Et voila ... so as you can see it’s been pretty full on. We are now taking a breather before the next set of (17!) visitors come on the 12th July.